So I wanted to do a thing with the Hellsing Fandom, and I imagined this post becoming a huge thread. I want as many people of the fandom to see this and have their hand at it! So, you can write some dialogue, a short story excerpt or do a drawing or comic of if you got suddenly transported into the Hellsing world.
BONUS if you get transported exactly from the place and whatever you’re doing at the time of reading this!
I’ll start you guys off with mine!
Just a moment ago, I was sure I was sitting on the sofa, typing up a post onto Tumblr…
There was a great, big shadow of a mausoleum of a building cast over my head. The wind blew strong as I found my way to my feet off the ground. I was still dressed in my t-shirt and tracksuits that I wore at home. The weather wasn’t kind, and I found myself holding my arms as I turned to inspect the area. I tried to keep calm, that was paramount.
Shadows continued to flicker, almost too fast for my eyes to register. Before I knew it, I heard the sound of a creature unlike anything I heard before, and arms grab me with astounding force.
“It would be better if you didn’t fight back. I only need to drink..”
I shut my eyes, knowing that I was most probably going to die without even knowing who my assailant was. Except, I didn’t and I heard a massive gun shot reverberating across the expanse of the area around me.
I opened my eyes to look up at an individual I only knew by one name.
He peered down at me, unsure of what to say.
“Please, don’t go getting yourself killed. Don’t humans know not to be out at this time of night?”
That’s right, it was Alucard, no doubt. What I needed to know was, how did I even get into the Hellsing world? That, and many questions, I hoped, would be answered.
Thought I’d go ahead and add my contribution because I love this idea!
I’m not gonna lie, I screamed. One minute I was there, the next I wasn’t. Pulled away from my computer, from the episode of Monk I was watching on TV. Away from reading my friend Medz’s post on Tumblr. It all happened so fast.
The next thing I remembered was the fall. Just a couple of feet, but I hit the ground and smacked my head on the ground.
“Und zat’s vhen I said… Vhat ze hell?!”
I groaned, rubbing my head, now complete with a splitting pain in it. I didn’t even want to open my eyes.
That’s when I smelled the food. The reeking stench of blood. I heard the German accents around me and the clicking of numerous guns that were doubtlessly pointed at me. I let out a ragged sigh. A chair scraped across the floor somewhere to my left.
“Who ze hell are you, und how did you get here?”
“Buddy…” I groaned, rubbing my head. “I’m asking myself the same question right now.”
I tried to open my eyes. The light was blinding at first, aggravating my headache further. I sat up, slowly. Still in my pajamas. But of course. Then I looked around me.
A massive dining table, lined on all sides by soldiers in the middle of eating. Eating blood, by the looks of it. Their uniforms… Oh… So that’s where I was. Hellsing.
And I was there. With Millennium.
My survival chances dropped low enough that I’m pretty sure I could actually hear them hitting rock bottom.
I turned to my right, standing up and gently pushing the long barrel of the Mauser pistol out of my face.
“Easy there, Tall Dark and Handsome.” I gave the werewolf a smirk. “At least buy me dinner before you threaten to kill me.” I was pretty sure that just pissed him off. Oh well. Worth a shot before I get eaten.
I turned to my left, to face the standing figure of the Major, face stained with barbecue sauce from the ribs in front of him. Heh. For once I was taller than someone.
“Look, Major, speaking fat guy to fat guy, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m no threat to you or this little outfit you got here. Far from it, y’know?”
I wasn’t exactly a smooth-talker. I just needed to keep him and his entourage from killing me long enough to figure out a way back home. Here’s hoping I could let them think I was useful enough to keep alive.
(Omg, mine sucks… it wouldn’t have been (so much) if I wasnt childcaring rn ^^;…)Deadass on the thick carpetted floor, I checked on the nephews real quick. Oldest boy was biologically fused to his cyborg-organ, the PS4. Middle boy asleep on couch. Toddler in a Friday the 13th Jason mask watching “learn to count” music youtube videos on a phone. Okay. All’s well. Back to the laptop–no wait, tot is hungry. Wants cereal. I cant guarantee toast safety (sometimes… I only set it on fire once–THE TOASTER WAS OLD AS MOSES. It had green fire), but I can pour milk like a boss. Let’s do this.
As I got up again, I noticed the light behind me go off. Great. Damn loose plug, IN A HOUSE WITH CHILDREN… I’ll get to it when I have slain the cereal-beast. The boy isnt afraid of the dark, he’ll be fine. He hadnt even flinched, the youtube video carrying on, “one little pumpkin smIIIling, smIIIling~ one little pumpkin is… Ha! Ppy!~”
Stepping into the kitchen, I hear Spongebob go mute mid-sentence as the living room TV cut out. Bastard Time-fucking-Warner, NOW what are they screwing up-? Slay the beast now, wrangle with the Devil’s box later… though it was creepy to see the living room pitch black.
Only after grabbing a spoon for the soon to be annihilated cereal did I realize I couldnt hear the pumpkins counting anymore. Im always paranoid but sometimes it pays to be cautious. “Lewie-? You okay?” No response. “LEWIE-??” Okay, mini-panic time for the Aunty-mom.
Armed with a spoon, Im on a march towards the living room when the kitchen lights click off. Soon after, the hall lights are gone and PS4 mutes. Middle boy does not scream in outrage–THAT’S what gets me. The boy has anger issues. HE WOULD BE FRIGHTENING BANSHEES RIGHT NOW.
A sense of helplesness overwhelms, Ive never been under attack before–dammit, my moment to die gloriously has come, but I cant leave the kids without at least a meat shield (me). Okay-okay-tot first, Middle boy–theyre awake and potentially mobile, Oldest boy is sleeping. Secure the wakies, get the shotgun from the top shelf of the back room closet, then wake the sleepy boy. Lock ourselves in bathro–… shit. NO ONE can wake the oldest boy FOR A VOLCANO, even… alright, we’ll just camp out around his bed with the shotgun. A nice sound plan. Its probably nothing, after all… we’ll bitch out Time Warner tomorrow. If we’re alive tomorrow.
Feeling through the darkness for the living room doorframe, I ended up planting my hand firmly on cloth. I would have thought “oh, I hit the coat table…”, because they just throw their coats on a table by the door, but my hand was up too high and this was firm. A person. And TALL. Short as I am, Im STILL taller than any of the 3 boys.
Hearing TollyMcGiant mumbling in an unfamiliar voice, all I can think is to throw my other hand into him, weak as I may be, then run for the back room. Shotgun time. Hope Middle boy stays in his room-if not DRAG HIM along-he will protest-D R A G.
There was a clink of metal as lights come back on, McGiant booming out “… AMEN.” The sight of a shiny crucifix had me frozen in place. I cant distrust a crucifix–stupid, stupid, STUPID-any psycho can have a crucifix! And they usually DO!!
“A voman…!” A voice exclaimed off to the side.
“… did she just stab the Father with a spoon-??” Another, more frail voice chirped.
Oh right… I still had the spoon. And I stabbed McToll’s crucifix necklace. Yeah… well… he should have knocked before entering! But were we facing salvation by biblenut or death by biblenut-?
I found myself speaking…
“…. do you work for Time Warner? Because I have a complaint.”
-
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The Rose-Clad Demon Doctor 